So the gods of originality smiled upon the producers of Runway and they came up with this week’s challenge: Make a Surfer Girl Outfit! Yeah, remember in runways past where they had to make lingerie out of sheet metal and asbestos? I kind of miss New York. Anyway, despite the dull theme there was some actual drama on the show. There was also a twist involving an “ avant garde” addition at the last minute.
The designers were paired up in twos, which usually spells disaster. It also gives me lots of opportunity to make up catchy “team names.” Since it is still early in the season and so many designers put me to sleep, only the memorable are worth a mentions. So let’s take a look at the most memorable teams…in my mind.
Team “ Oh No You Didn’t” was comprised of Qrystal with a Q and Epperson. I hesitate to use “ oil and water” because oil and water actually make a delicious salad dressing. This team was more like nuts and gum- Icky and a whole lot of NO. Their beach wear looks like a dress made from the shower curtains from a house in the 70’s that had a whole lot of swingin’ goin’ on. The team’s avant-garde creation was a brown, shiny, bathing suit with, um; I don’t know what the hell attached to it. It was almost if they grabbed the draperies from the swinger house and said “ here model girl, wear this!” It was like Mrs. Roper’s bad dream. These two designers almost bitch slapped each other on the Runway. That is good TV people…
Team “ Eastern Bloc” had the designers Nicholas and Gordana. To be honest, I was expecting great things from these two. The two designers had shown real taste and style in previous episodes. What did we get? We got a reminder that the Scorpions and Gorky Park are still selling out shows in Moscow. Their beachwear design, while flawed, was not bad. Their avant-garde design looked like an outfit from Motley Crue’s Shout-At-The Devil era’s fever dream after Nikki Sixx mainlined an 8-ball with a chaser of prison wine. It is so bad it almost defies words:
Team “ Cabela’s” showcased the talent of Ra’mon and…well mostly Ra’mon because Mitchell decided to go visit “ Planet Mitchell” where not doing anything will help you win a show that FILMS YOU IN THE WORKROOM. Their avant-garde dress was made out of Neoprene. The fabric, which my dad owns a lot of because he is a 60 year old golfer, was neon green, scrunched up, and then had stuff spilled all over it. The judges loved it. I felt like I had dropped acid and gotten lost in Cabela’s fishing section. My husband said it looked like a hyper color shirt. That statement immediately gave me flashbacks to 10th grade when a classmate of mine decided to stick his hands over my boobs while I was wearing a pink hyper color shirt. I had to walk around for a good two hours like that.
Ra’mon won and then Mitchell went home, because on our planet you have to SEW TO BE ON PROJECT RUNWAY.
Team “ We Should’ve Won” saw Emarie and Johnny (ex-crack addict) and some amazing macramé work. The work was simple and tasteful, and unfortunately no match for fabric that will withstand Cat 5-hurricane rain.