Episode 1: The One in Which I Make My Daughter Look Like Sarah Palin
I fall for it all the time. Some commercial comes on TV promising me the treasure of the Sierra Madre, or the hair product equivalent, and I cave. I don’t ever usually call the 1-800- number of sucker, but I do something much worse: I buy the As See On TV items at Wal-Mart. The biggest tragedy of this year was that Billie Mays died before he can improve on Aqua-net.
So today I will review for you the Bump-it by Big Happie Hair. The Bump-it is this ingenious little arched comb device that promises to give you Texas sized bouffants with great ease. Now, I say “Texas Sized” because Texas big hair and eastern seaboard big hair are two totally different beasts. You see, Texas big hair entails hot rollers, teasing, smoothing, clipping and spraying. While it’s cousin, the Jersey big hair, is more expressive with its bigness. Jersey Big hair can be achieved with LA Style Hair Gel, hair scorching curling iron, random teasing, and enough Aqua-Net to paralyze small woodland creatures. I am quite good at this hairstyle. But I digress, the Bump-it will not give you “Slippery When Wet”, the Bump-it is a Dallas-Fort Worth Kick-line.
Dillon Panthers or not, this product actually works. I am going to fail to give it a super-glowing review because this product didn’t work on me. You see I have about 4 million hairs on my head that are the texture of newborn bunny rabbit fur. To get a better picture of my hair, think Beaker from the Muppet Show.
So, I followed the instructions: parted my hair, teased and sprayed a little, shoved the device into the part, and voila! I looked like a conehead wearing headgear. I am going to give this a no-go for fine hair.
My husband said he would “absolutely not” try the Bump-it, but my six year old with thick and straight hair was game for a photo shoot. I followed the instructions and it came out like the picture you see.
Does it work for thick hair! Youuuu betcha (wink).
Bump-its are $9.99 at Wal-Mart and other fine retailers.